Bbeing a Sunday, I wasn’t going to blog. Then Jesse and Boo decided to take a nap. I have forever  hated taking naps (a mom’s worst nightmare, huh?). If I take a nap you better hope I sleep through until the next morning or that you don’t cross me after I wake up. I’d say it’s a curse and a blessing, but really it’s just a curse because some days I would love nothing more than to take a nap without waking up as Godzilla. I figured I might as well blog to fight the urge of pinching Jess so that he wakes up.

Today was our first day at our new church building. It was ginormeous and I got lost. There were people everywhere that I didn’t know, the order of classes was all backwards, and I was hungry. Scratch that, I was HANGRY (hungry and angry). I play the piano for church which I love because it really has helped me improve my sight reading and whatnot. In this new church building however, I was expected to play the organ. For real? I’ve never even touched an organ before. I played, a little choppily, but it sounded okay. After playing a few songs I leaned over to Jess and said, “I hope they don’t make me play anymore since I don’t know how to work the organ. I’m sure there’s at least one person in the congregation that is an expert at it.” Secretly I knew that “one person” was cringing as he or she listened to me butcher the songs on the organ. But instead of agreeing with me and letting me continue my rant he said, “Sometimes we are asked to do something not because we are qualified to do it, but because there’s some other reason that we need to be doing that certain thing.” That made me think. And then I knew why I am supposed to be playing the organ. Not only will it teach me a new skill that may serve me for the rest of my life (or not), but more importantly I think it will help me get over my feelings of being incapable to learn new things. I knock myself down too often because ‘I’m not good at anything’ and ‘I don’t have enough talent or brains to learn new things.’ How depressing. I’m a month away from turning 21 and I already feel like I’m done being able to learn anything new! But if nothing else, I’ve become aware that that’s no way to think and that my negative thoughts are the only thing that can stand in the way of learning new things.

I’m nervous about playing the organ. I feel bad for my fellow church-goers that have to listen to me as I learn this new instrument. But I know/think/hope that this will be good for me. Maybe I won’t ever be super great at playing the organ, but I’m going to do my best…at least until they realize that maybe that expert organist should take over.

Yours Sincerely,

An organist in training