Today

I’m sitting here at the computer in our new house surrounded by boxes needing to be unpacked, a pile of clothes the size of a small mountain needing to be washed, dirty dishes piled almost as high, and dirty diapers to my left and right that didn’t get thrown away because whether she is happy from getting a fresh diaper or crying because she’s still hungry, cuddling my sweet girl is always more appealing and important than walking all the way to the trash to throw away a rolled-up dirty diaper.

I woke up this morning with a plan to get these kinds of things taken care of and ended up scrubbing the floor during a precious hour of nap time because when I tried to carry up the basket containing all the laundry detergent I failed to see the crack in one of the bottles and spilled blue detergent all over the new carpets. As I was finishing cleaning up that mess, the doorbell rang and I had to run to change into a workout shirt and Jesse’s sweatpants because it’s the only clean thing I could find in our room of half unpacked boxes. The doorbell ringing made the dogs bark which made the baby cry which made the maintenance guy coming to check out our broken air conditioner feel very awkward, I’m sure.

The fact that I started this post over an hour ago and have changed 2 dirty diapers, cleaned up one blow out mess, given little Evaline a bath, fed her twice, rocked her to sleep twice, and am now holding her while typing this with one hand and spooning ice cream into my mouth at the same time because it’s the only food that’s readily available and possibly the only thing I’ll eat until tonight might tell you how crazy my life is. So why am I so incredibly happy? Because after all the chaos and somehow making my house even more messy than it was before, as I was rocking Evaline to sleep she looked at me with her deep blue eyes and smiled.

And my heart melted.

Women have always said “Motherhood is the hardest, yet most rewarding job” and I would think they were crazy because that doesn’t make any sense. How can something be so hard, yet so enjoyable? It certainly doesn’t look enjoyable to a person who is used to peace and quiet and going out late and being able to leave on a spontaneous trip at any time of the day.

Oh was I so wrong. Sure, maybe I could use some sleep, but having her lay asleep so comfortably on my chest and hearing her sweet little breaths in the quietness of the night after her 2 a.m. feeding…there is no better feeling in the world. Sleep can’t even compare.

I’ll try not to get too cheesy, maybe I’ve already crossed the line for some of you, but my heart is so full of love. I’m still learning about how to love my new self while my body is trying to get back to the way it used to be and because most days I don’t even have time to run a brush through my hair, and I’m still learning the best ways to take care of a new baby and how the heck I’m supposed to find the time and energy to cook dinner for my husband when he gets off of work every night, but I tell you what, even though these things are sometimes hard, I am having the best time of my life. So what all those crazy women say is true: being a mom is tough and emotional and tiring and it is the BEST… and I mean it helps when your daughter is the sweetest little angel that ever did live (yeah, I’m biased. So what?).

Yours Sincerely,

Me.

PC: Inspire Me Video